The conversation between Hotch and JJ at the beginning of the chapter is hilarious. I do love their interactions on the show, and I wish there were more. JJ and Ororo also had a very sweet conversation that made me smile. -smiles-
Ah, Emma and Emily. Just... everything. Choosing a school, paranoia about Emily's frequent flyer miles for hospital beds, Emily's thoughts on being Emma's slave. Also: the sex. Oh, the sex. Although, waking up with 3 occupants is kind of creepy.
One thing though: I hope this doesn't offend you, but your Jordan seems pretty out of character, with the eugenics and the preoccupation with beauty. She sounded a little like Anya, and not at all like she is on the show. I don't know if you've written it as a consequence of the dehumanizing work a Press Liasion/person-that-chooses-files does, or just a bit of humour, but I can't see Jordan saying any of these lines.
I'm also not a fan of JJ choosing to become a profiler; her choice to be the soothing voice on the other end of the phone versus a profiler was one of the things that made me love her. Saying that, you have a line about a pay hike and I'm not sure whether it's about Jordan or JJ, but I guess JJ might want a better-paying job since she's got a family now.
Apart from those two things though: great chapter, made me laugh loads. Best line ever? “I want to be a daddy!"
Also, one question: are we ever going to see Henry or Didi playing with Jack Hotchner?
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Ah, Emma and Emily. Just... everything. Choosing a school, paranoia about Emily's frequent flyer miles for hospital beds, Emily's thoughts on being Emma's slave. Also: the sex. Oh, the sex. Although, waking up with 3 occupants is kind of creepy.
One thing though: I hope this doesn't offend you, but your Jordan seems pretty out of character, with the eugenics and the preoccupation with beauty. She sounded a little like Anya, and not at all like she is on the show. I don't know if you've written it as a consequence of the dehumanizing work a Press Liasion/person-that-chooses-files does, or just a bit of humour, but I can't see Jordan saying any of these lines.
I'm also not a fan of JJ choosing to become a profiler; her choice to be the soothing voice on the other end of the phone versus a profiler was one of the things that made me love her. Saying that, you have a line about a pay hike and I'm not sure whether it's about Jordan or JJ, but I guess JJ might want a better-paying job since she's got a family now.
Apart from those two things though: great chapter, made me laugh loads. Best line ever? “I want to be a daddy!"
Also, one question: are we ever going to see Henry or Didi playing with Jack Hotchner?