Ah, but here again we have the trouble of 'if the MC isn't special, why does his presence make a difference?'
Oh, he definitely has abandonment issues. And his mum doesn't really show positive emotions, so he tries and he tries, but it's never really going to be enough to please her, or keep her from disappearing the next time.
I do like the idea that his own guilt is part of what motivates him, even if he has completely the wrong idea about what he's guilty of. And it's in subjective third person, so plenty of room for unreliability. So if you have more situations, please expound upon them.
But there is still the main problem. There is a rivalry and deep hatred between Z and G. MC's arrival and subsequent actions precipitate conflict between Z and G, resulting in G's being blown up into many pieces of soul. So what on earth were they fighting about?
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2010-08-20 03:20 am (UTC)Oh, he definitely has abandonment issues. And his mum doesn't really show positive emotions, so he tries and he tries, but it's never really going to be enough to please her, or keep her from disappearing the next time.
I do like the idea that his own guilt is part of what motivates him, even if he has completely the wrong idea about what he's guilty of. And it's in subjective third person, so plenty of room for unreliability. So if you have more situations, please expound upon them.
But there is still the main problem. There is a rivalry and deep hatred between Z and G. MC's arrival and subsequent actions precipitate conflict between Z and G, resulting in G's being blown up into many pieces of soul. So what on earth were they fighting about?