![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nike_ravusTitle: Pretty Girls Make Graves (aka Loveaholic) 8/8
Author: Alsike
Fandom: X-Men/Criminal Minds x-over
Pairing: Emma Frost/Emily Prentiss
Rating: R
AN/Disclaimer: Not my girls.
Apologies: Don't kill me, please?
Summary: Sometimes the plans you make have a chance to become real. What if what you thought you wanted isn't enough?
Matt did the washing up, and Michael waited while Emily threw up and put her to bed. Emma was assigned to take the twins out for a walk, ‘to aid digestion.’ She found it rather amusing that she had been shanghaied into child-minding, but at least it wasn’t cleaning.
They had gone down to the park. Sam had made his way to the edge of the brook and was reaching in, trying to catch a fish. Susan stood stiffly beside her.
“I saw my mother kiss you.”
“I thought you would have,” Emma said calmly.
Susan turned on her swiftly and glared. “Why did you let her!”
“Why did I let her? Do you really expect that if a beautiful woman plants herself in my lap and throws herself at me that I’m going to turn her down? I don’t press my knees together like a good little girl even for your sake.”
Susan looked shocked and hurt. Emma pressed her lips together.
“Look,” she said finally. “I know what you’re thinking, and it’s not as bad as all that. I used to feel the same way you did.” She didn’t explain that she had kept feeling that way for quite a bit longer, especially after her first time which was not all a girl could wish. “It’s frightening, but it shouldn’t be. Your father and Matt are good friends, aren’t they? They like to spend time together. They like to give each other hugs.” Emma closed her eyes. “Sometimes it’s nice to be close to someone, just to not feel alone.”
“I don’t believe you,” Susan replied.
“I know.” Emma smiled wryly. “I think I may have been trying to see if I could convince myself.” Because, she didn’t say, being alone had always been better before.
Susan looked like she was going to cry. It was never pleasant imagining your parents having sex. It could never be like it was in stories. It was always a little horrifying, a little disgusting, and much more so if you actually loved your parents. Emma hadn’t had that particular trouble. She had just had others.
“You do know that I won’t lie to you, not even to spare your feelings. You can ask me whatever you want.”
“Except not to do it.”
Emma sighed. “I’m not pursuing her. It has nothing to do with you. But for my own self respect, I will not go after a woman who so clearly has no interest in me.” The reason was a lie, but so many things were that she hardly noticed them anymore.
Susan looked away.
There was a splash and a yelp. Sam had fallen into the water. Emma quickly pulled him out.
“I think it’s time to go home.”
* * *
The headmaster appeared in the hall as Emma got back to the school. She didn’t doubt he had been waiting for her, even if he’d never admit to it. The creak of the wheels from his chair made her stop and wait.
“What did you do today?” It sounded pleasant enough, but it was an interrogation.
“I was invited to the Fleetwood-Prentisses for dinner.”
The headmaster narrowed his eyes. “You’ve been spending time enough with them, haven’t you?”
“Their mother is American. We had one of our traditionless holidays this week. Offering solace to a fellow ex-pat.”
“How nice. Did you have a good time?”
Emma laughed. “I suppose. Family drama is always more entertaining if it’s not your family.”
The headmaster nodded, but looked as if he were considering the comment seriously, not that he usually looked otherwise. “Don’t forget, Emma, the chance that I gave you. Be careful.”
Emma thought about Matt. Anyone else would have treated him as a time bomb ticking, not let him in their house or in their life. But Emily took him into her family, let him live with her children, trusted him to an absurd degree. But maybe he deserved it. She doubted that she did. “I don’t make decisions based on fear,” she said coolly.
“No?” he asked. “No, I suppose not,” he answered himself. “But I think we have learned that it is better not to make them in anger.”
Emma looked down at her hands, closing her fingers over clean skin. “I don’t regret it.” She breathed out slowly. “Except that I could have made them suffer more.”
He looked at her steadily. She couldn’t tell whether it was with disapproval or pity. “All of them?”
* * *
November 26: Fourteen Years Previously.
Emma took the keys from her father’s pocket. He was limp and drooling, bent over the table, food smeared on his face. She could smell the grease fires, the heat radiating from the kitchen, from the sofa in the den that smoked like old horsemeat. There was a thin layer of snow on the ground outside, and she stood shivering on the porch as she turned the key, locking the door behind her.
There were keyholes on both sides.
The snow crunched under her feet as she started the long walk towards town. It should take her at least an hour. The drugs would wear off quickly, but it would be too late. She knew from personal experience that there were no routes out when the door was locked.
She only glanced back once. A warm yellow light shone from the windows. For once it looked pleasant and welcoming, not like the doorway to hell.
The curtains must be on fire, Emma thought, and kept walking.
FIN
and Ficmix! (includes drabbles which (or may not) answer remaining questions, including what happens next).
Author: Alsike
Fandom: X-Men/Criminal Minds x-over
Pairing: Emma Frost/Emily Prentiss
Rating: R
AN/Disclaimer: Not my girls.
Apologies: Don't kill me, please?
Summary: Sometimes the plans you make have a chance to become real. What if what you thought you wanted isn't enough?
Matt did the washing up, and Michael waited while Emily threw up and put her to bed. Emma was assigned to take the twins out for a walk, ‘to aid digestion.’ She found it rather amusing that she had been shanghaied into child-minding, but at least it wasn’t cleaning.
They had gone down to the park. Sam had made his way to the edge of the brook and was reaching in, trying to catch a fish. Susan stood stiffly beside her.
“I saw my mother kiss you.”
“I thought you would have,” Emma said calmly.
Susan turned on her swiftly and glared. “Why did you let her!”
“Why did I let her? Do you really expect that if a beautiful woman plants herself in my lap and throws herself at me that I’m going to turn her down? I don’t press my knees together like a good little girl even for your sake.”
Susan looked shocked and hurt. Emma pressed her lips together.
“Look,” she said finally. “I know what you’re thinking, and it’s not as bad as all that. I used to feel the same way you did.” She didn’t explain that she had kept feeling that way for quite a bit longer, especially after her first time which was not all a girl could wish. “It’s frightening, but it shouldn’t be. Your father and Matt are good friends, aren’t they? They like to spend time together. They like to give each other hugs.” Emma closed her eyes. “Sometimes it’s nice to be close to someone, just to not feel alone.”
“I don’t believe you,” Susan replied.
“I know.” Emma smiled wryly. “I think I may have been trying to see if I could convince myself.” Because, she didn’t say, being alone had always been better before.
Susan looked like she was going to cry. It was never pleasant imagining your parents having sex. It could never be like it was in stories. It was always a little horrifying, a little disgusting, and much more so if you actually loved your parents. Emma hadn’t had that particular trouble. She had just had others.
“You do know that I won’t lie to you, not even to spare your feelings. You can ask me whatever you want.”
“Except not to do it.”
Emma sighed. “I’m not pursuing her. It has nothing to do with you. But for my own self respect, I will not go after a woman who so clearly has no interest in me.” The reason was a lie, but so many things were that she hardly noticed them anymore.
Susan looked away.
There was a splash and a yelp. Sam had fallen into the water. Emma quickly pulled him out.
“I think it’s time to go home.”
* * *
The headmaster appeared in the hall as Emma got back to the school. She didn’t doubt he had been waiting for her, even if he’d never admit to it. The creak of the wheels from his chair made her stop and wait.
“What did you do today?” It sounded pleasant enough, but it was an interrogation.
“I was invited to the Fleetwood-Prentisses for dinner.”
The headmaster narrowed his eyes. “You’ve been spending time enough with them, haven’t you?”
“Their mother is American. We had one of our traditionless holidays this week. Offering solace to a fellow ex-pat.”
“How nice. Did you have a good time?”
Emma laughed. “I suppose. Family drama is always more entertaining if it’s not your family.”
The headmaster nodded, but looked as if he were considering the comment seriously, not that he usually looked otherwise. “Don’t forget, Emma, the chance that I gave you. Be careful.”
Emma thought about Matt. Anyone else would have treated him as a time bomb ticking, not let him in their house or in their life. But Emily took him into her family, let him live with her children, trusted him to an absurd degree. But maybe he deserved it. She doubted that she did. “I don’t make decisions based on fear,” she said coolly.
“No?” he asked. “No, I suppose not,” he answered himself. “But I think we have learned that it is better not to make them in anger.”
Emma looked down at her hands, closing her fingers over clean skin. “I don’t regret it.” She breathed out slowly. “Except that I could have made them suffer more.”
He looked at her steadily. She couldn’t tell whether it was with disapproval or pity. “All of them?”
* * *
November 26: Fourteen Years Previously.
Emma took the keys from her father’s pocket. He was limp and drooling, bent over the table, food smeared on his face. She could smell the grease fires, the heat radiating from the kitchen, from the sofa in the den that smoked like old horsemeat. There was a thin layer of snow on the ground outside, and she stood shivering on the porch as she turned the key, locking the door behind her.
There were keyholes on both sides.
The snow crunched under her feet as she started the long walk towards town. It should take her at least an hour. The drugs would wear off quickly, but it would be too late. She knew from personal experience that there were no routes out when the door was locked.
She only glanced back once. A warm yellow light shone from the windows. For once it looked pleasant and welcoming, not like the doorway to hell.
The curtains must be on fire, Emma thought, and kept walking.
FIN
and Ficmix! (includes drabbles which (or may not) answer remaining questions, including what happens next).
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-12-09 06:37 pm (UTC)I thought that the coda at the end of your ficmix was suitably ambiguous/menacing and made a good ending to the story as a whole. , This section also shed a lot of light on what happened in the earlier parts. I assume that the choice about leaving the 'remains of her family' behind earlier in the series was quite intentional.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-09 06:54 pm (UTC)I may have to give it another run through, because the story sort of warped as I was telling it. I had this basic outline in by head, but it wasn't working, because Emma was so clearly resistant to being part of a family. There was no way she could even consider it, and I had to figure out why.
The role of the headmaster is sort of ambiguous, but it seemed likely that Emma would have gotten away with it, legally, and probably most people in her area understood why she did it, but no one would ever trust her. Who knew what could make her snap again? And she started to believe that about herself. The headmaster gave her a chance to leave it behind, but he knows, and he'll never quite trust her either. Which, I think, is something she wants.
Yay for menacing! (I don't write happy endings. I don't know why people expect them from me.)
Thank you for sticking with it! And commenting!
no subject
Date: 2009-12-09 07:36 pm (UTC)But, how does the headmaster know? Different country etc etc. And it's not the kind of thing you'd mention on your job application form. (This is the literal-mindedness again).
no subject
Date: 2009-12-09 11:03 pm (UTC)There is, of course, that portion on the application that says "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" (Although because she was a minor...)
Now I feel the need to write more backstory! (I was going to go into the headmaster's part, but then gave in to the twist)
No more. Take home exams and city on the river are my plan now.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-10 01:54 am (UTC)Such a great story with a definite and well deserved bittersweet and incomplete (in a good way) ending.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-10 08:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-10 09:27 pm (UTC)Yeah, I want it to feel cut off, not literally, but that all the things that suggest this could be leading somewhere good are gone. I need to give it a rewrite to give it that nice polished punch in the stomach feeling.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-10 10:56 pm (UTC)Right now, the fanfic doesn't actually seem hopeless - they still actually seem to genuinely like each other.
Anyways, if I cannot look forward to a sequel, good or bad (my dreams are crushed) I will look forward to the rewrite. Great work, regardless.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-23 03:14 pm (UTC)PGMG aka L
Date: 2010-03-02 08:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-13 06:41 pm (UTC)I just feel people are being very depressive about how this will end. And while not every story has or should have a happy ending, I just don't see what prevents this from being a story with a happy ending.