Mermaid Sex
Feb. 20th, 2010 11:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nike_ravus So, it's pretty clear that babysitting is a vastly traumatizing experience. I've started to... enjoy playing Barbies. But I have the one I like, who is called Devin, and a plumber, with mad awesome cowboy boots and socks. And that was way too much information.
Note to self: six year olds should not be allowed to watch Lady Gaga videos.
But today! Oh, Today! We watched the Barbie movie Mermadia.
First of all, the etymology of the word mermadia, is so puzzling to me that it makes me want to cry. I mean, fine, Mermaid plus the greek-type 'ia' ending like in Alexandria, but still. Why does that sound like some sort of weird disease? A fungal infection?
Anyways, the real point is that Elina and Nori had clearly massive subtext potential. Let's build friendship, teamwork and trust! yay! And then Elina gets a tail (she was a fairy before), and Nori looks at her and is like "OMG, you're so-" and Elina cuts her off before she can say "f*ing hot" with a tail, which is vastly disappointing. And (this is probably a Spoiler Warning, but seriously, Mermadia) there is about a thirty second period where Elina realizes that she will have to stay as a mermaid forever and never regain her wings! She despairs. And it was the perfect opportunity for Nori to jump in and say, "I know it sucks, but I'm going to show you all the good things that come with a tail," wink, nudge...
And then I hit a roadblock, because there is a very big problem with mermaid sex.
How does it work? If they're just fish on that half, with that sort of system, then it can't have anything to do with reproduction, but if they're mammals? Has anyone read some good, scientifically plausible mermaid pr0n?
Is this a really stupid question?
This is why I hardly ever write personal posts. I am *so* weird. *bangs head on wall*
But all in all, Mermadia was not that bad a movie. Hilariously awful at times, and illogical and pointless, but it had its moments.
Note to self: six year olds should not be allowed to watch Lady Gaga videos.
But today! Oh, Today! We watched the Barbie movie Mermadia.
First of all, the etymology of the word mermadia, is so puzzling to me that it makes me want to cry. I mean, fine, Mermaid plus the greek-type 'ia' ending like in Alexandria, but still. Why does that sound like some sort of weird disease? A fungal infection?
Anyways, the real point is that Elina and Nori had clearly massive subtext potential. Let's build friendship, teamwork and trust! yay! And then Elina gets a tail (she was a fairy before), and Nori looks at her and is like "OMG, you're so-" and Elina cuts her off before she can say "f*ing hot" with a tail, which is vastly disappointing. And (this is probably a Spoiler Warning, but seriously, Mermadia) there is about a thirty second period where Elina realizes that she will have to stay as a mermaid forever and never regain her wings! She despairs. And it was the perfect opportunity for Nori to jump in and say, "I know it sucks, but I'm going to show you all the good things that come with a tail," wink, nudge...
And then I hit a roadblock, because there is a very big problem with mermaid sex.
How does it work? If they're just fish on that half, with that sort of system, then it can't have anything to do with reproduction, but if they're mammals? Has anyone read some good, scientifically plausible mermaid pr0n?
Is this a really stupid question?
This is why I hardly ever write personal posts. I am *so* weird. *bangs head on wall*
But all in all, Mermadia was not that bad a movie. Hilariously awful at times, and illogical and pointless, but it had its moments.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-02-21 04:52 am (UTC)However, I'm like you, and when people get all het up about the mermaid idea, my first thought is always "how the. . ."
Now, if you really wanna write it without creating Merm's Anatomy, you could ask yourself the question how hot can your other character make the mermaid without going below the, um, belt.
thud.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 05:42 pm (UTC)Of course, they may have very sensitive tails, which would put a new spin on all the twirly mermaid tail-dancing in various disney musical numbers. :D
no subject
Date: 2010-02-21 06:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 05:48 pm (UTC)It is really scarily plausible though. I may need to write a gritty clockwork orange style mer-dolphin short story. Maybe noir, with underwater gatling guns.
O.o
no subject
Date: 2010-02-26 06:05 pm (UTC)On the plus side(?), I now have a decent(?) idea about how mermaid sex probably would work. And I would totally read that story if you wrote it, would it somehow involve Emily and Emma as the Gatling gun toting mer-dolphins? Hmm, {goes off to not think about mermaid/dolphin sex.}
I love that one of the tags is "recommendations"
Date: 2010-02-21 01:04 pm (UTC)About mermaids...
I agree with "Anonymous" here, I actually first thought about sharks.
BUT dolphins sometimes have sex for fun, not the sharks. And let me tell you one thing: dolphins are wicked, look what I just read on Wikipedia: "Sexual encounters may be violent, with male dolphins sometimes showing aggressive behavior towards both females and other males. Occasionally, dolphins behave sexually towards other animals, including humans."
It's disturbing to know that they only have one hole for the anus AND the vagina, but at least they don't have any conversations like these:
- Only gay dolphins do it.
- Oh come on, don't tell me that Flipper never tried to go there!
- ... I didn't want to, but he insisted and... well. It only happened once!
This mono-hole makes me wonder : how do mermaids poop? I know the most famous one is a princess, so she doesn't, but still.
Re: I love that one of the tags is "recommendations"
Date: 2010-02-22 05:53 pm (UTC)I thought they just had one slit which began with the clitoris, then vagina with the anus at the other end, not a cloaca like birds. Is it really odd that I know about this from reading pr0n where Professor X bangs his one canon girlfriend who is an alien who lays eggs?
Cripes, I think dolphins may be slightly too intense for disney mermaids. How about salmon instead? Everyone likes salmon. :)
Re: I love that one of the tags is "recommendations"
Date: 2010-03-02 03:08 pm (UTC)Seriously, you learned that from pr0n? haha it's awesome. That's how they should teach biology anyway.
A salmon for a mermaid? Isn't it too small? And I know that female salmons just lay eggs somewhere and male salmons just sperm on it. I don't know if anyone would want to write or read about salmons giving facials to mermaids.
Oh gods, I can't believe I just wrote that.
That's one way of doing it...
Date: 2010-02-22 05:19 pm (UTC)It doesn't *actually* answer your question - but I couldn't help but think of this when I saw your post.
Also: Hi! I've never commented before, but I love what you write.
Re: That's one way of doing it...
Date: 2010-02-22 06:00 pm (UTC)Re: Also: Hi to you too! I'm glad you like it!
no subject
Date: 2010-02-23 06:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-25 07:54 am (UTC)Not sure what it says about me but, I kind of like the idea where the tail is used as the sexual organ and am looking forward to reading the end result...Lord I need help!!