Mermaid Sex
Feb. 20th, 2010 11:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nike_ravus So, it's pretty clear that babysitting is a vastly traumatizing experience. I've started to... enjoy playing Barbies. But I have the one I like, who is called Devin, and a plumber, with mad awesome cowboy boots and socks. And that was way too much information.
Note to self: six year olds should not be allowed to watch Lady Gaga videos.
But today! Oh, Today! We watched the Barbie movie Mermadia.
First of all, the etymology of the word mermadia, is so puzzling to me that it makes me want to cry. I mean, fine, Mermaid plus the greek-type 'ia' ending like in Alexandria, but still. Why does that sound like some sort of weird disease? A fungal infection?
Anyways, the real point is that Elina and Nori had clearly massive subtext potential. Let's build friendship, teamwork and trust! yay! And then Elina gets a tail (she was a fairy before), and Nori looks at her and is like "OMG, you're so-" and Elina cuts her off before she can say "f*ing hot" with a tail, which is vastly disappointing. And (this is probably a Spoiler Warning, but seriously, Mermadia) there is about a thirty second period where Elina realizes that she will have to stay as a mermaid forever and never regain her wings! She despairs. And it was the perfect opportunity for Nori to jump in and say, "I know it sucks, but I'm going to show you all the good things that come with a tail," wink, nudge...
And then I hit a roadblock, because there is a very big problem with mermaid sex.
How does it work? If they're just fish on that half, with that sort of system, then it can't have anything to do with reproduction, but if they're mammals? Has anyone read some good, scientifically plausible mermaid pr0n?
Is this a really stupid question?
This is why I hardly ever write personal posts. I am *so* weird. *bangs head on wall*
But all in all, Mermadia was not that bad a movie. Hilariously awful at times, and illogical and pointless, but it had its moments.
Note to self: six year olds should not be allowed to watch Lady Gaga videos.
But today! Oh, Today! We watched the Barbie movie Mermadia.
First of all, the etymology of the word mermadia, is so puzzling to me that it makes me want to cry. I mean, fine, Mermaid plus the greek-type 'ia' ending like in Alexandria, but still. Why does that sound like some sort of weird disease? A fungal infection?
Anyways, the real point is that Elina and Nori had clearly massive subtext potential. Let's build friendship, teamwork and trust! yay! And then Elina gets a tail (she was a fairy before), and Nori looks at her and is like "OMG, you're so-" and Elina cuts her off before she can say "f*ing hot" with a tail, which is vastly disappointing. And (this is probably a Spoiler Warning, but seriously, Mermadia) there is about a thirty second period where Elina realizes that she will have to stay as a mermaid forever and never regain her wings! She despairs. And it was the perfect opportunity for Nori to jump in and say, "I know it sucks, but I'm going to show you all the good things that come with a tail," wink, nudge...
And then I hit a roadblock, because there is a very big problem with mermaid sex.
How does it work? If they're just fish on that half, with that sort of system, then it can't have anything to do with reproduction, but if they're mammals? Has anyone read some good, scientifically plausible mermaid pr0n?
Is this a really stupid question?
This is why I hardly ever write personal posts. I am *so* weird. *bangs head on wall*
But all in all, Mermadia was not that bad a movie. Hilariously awful at times, and illogical and pointless, but it had its moments.
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I love that one of the tags is "recommendations"
Date: 2010-02-21 01:04 pm (UTC)About mermaids...
I agree with "Anonymous" here, I actually first thought about sharks.
BUT dolphins sometimes have sex for fun, not the sharks. And let me tell you one thing: dolphins are wicked, look what I just read on Wikipedia: "Sexual encounters may be violent, with male dolphins sometimes showing aggressive behavior towards both females and other males. Occasionally, dolphins behave sexually towards other animals, including humans."
It's disturbing to know that they only have one hole for the anus AND the vagina, but at least they don't have any conversations like these:
- Only gay dolphins do it.
- Oh come on, don't tell me that Flipper never tried to go there!
- ... I didn't want to, but he insisted and... well. It only happened once!
This mono-hole makes me wonder : how do mermaids poop? I know the most famous one is a princess, so she doesn't, but still.
Re: I love that one of the tags is "recommendations"
Date: 2010-02-22 05:53 pm (UTC)I thought they just had one slit which began with the clitoris, then vagina with the anus at the other end, not a cloaca like birds. Is it really odd that I know about this from reading pr0n where Professor X bangs his one canon girlfriend who is an alien who lays eggs?
Cripes, I think dolphins may be slightly too intense for disney mermaids. How about salmon instead? Everyone likes salmon. :)
Re: I love that one of the tags is "recommendations"
Date: 2010-03-02 03:08 pm (UTC)Seriously, you learned that from pr0n? haha it's awesome. That's how they should teach biology anyway.
A salmon for a mermaid? Isn't it too small? And I know that female salmons just lay eggs somewhere and male salmons just sperm on it. I don't know if anyone would want to write or read about salmons giving facials to mermaids.
Oh gods, I can't believe I just wrote that.