Things only I care about
Aug. 18th, 2010 11:18 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nike_ravus So, I have successfully moved into my apt in the town where i am going to go to grad school. I have food, and internet, (one of these is more important than the other, you know which.) And I have met my roommates/department/first years. And one of them doesn't know how to small talk. I have issues with small talk as well, which generally turns into: awkwardness= me telling more and more idiotic personal stories. But in this case, no small talk was probably the best thing ever, because eventually (after a digression about Focus in Hungarian) we got onto the topic of my novel, which i have been trying to revise now, after getting my crit back from my first readers. This guy hasn't read any of it, but he made me explain it to him, the core conflict, the character relations, and everything. And he managed to point out like sixteen places where there were logical flaws, or not enough motivation for certain character actions. This is incredible, because now i have a way to actually clearly think about the skeleton plot of the story, minus all the random writing stuff I have in it.
The problem is, I already know some things I want to drastically change, or shuffle, to put them in order, and i have some idea of what they will mean in the future, but I still have two big questions left to answer before i really know how it's going to go. (They are probably questions that I should have answered before starting the whole thing in the beginning, but oh well, that's not how I work.)
What is my main character's goal? He's a thirteen year old boy, who has not yet started liking girls, and prefers skateboarding and lacrosse. This combination of elements is itself mildly problematic, but I think it gives him a different way of seeing the world than other people. Both skateboarding punk chic and lacrosse yuppy prep are styles and attitudes that don't really agree with each other, but MC can almost pass in both communities. He's a little straight-laced for the rest of the skateboarders, and a little loner-punk for the lacrosse team, and he tries to make up for it by being better than everyone else at everything, but he isn't accepted for it, if anything they like him even less.
He has to be better, stronger, faster, smarter, because if he gives them an opportunity for ridicule, he will never gain the respect back. But he doesn't want to cheat, because then he isn't really better. Being better is what he takes pride in, and cheating would take away that pride. He's not really a team player and he doesn't like helping people. Perhaps when he goes into the new world (S, as I seem to have taken to calling it), he sees his own selfishness institutionalized, and doesn't really like it. But I still don't have a goal for him, except wanting to be better. I wonder if he is attracted to sorcery, not by the power, but by the opportunity to be great. Once he finds out that he has potential, he might want to pursue it.
If that's the case then I need to make sure my depiction of sorcery is clear, where it is a combination of internal development, and making exchanges with other creatures for their abilities. Or, for the nefarious, stealing from other creatures and manipulating them into giving you power.
What are the stakes? Mr. MC needs to rescue his aunt, by collecting the bits of her shattered soul and putting them back together, and he needs to rescue his mom, who has had something done to her memory, so when he meets her in S she doesn't know who he is. But his mother's problem has existed his entire life, and his aunt is only blown up into bits now. Yet there is some relation between the two problems. At first it was that his aunt had put the spell on his mother to make her forget one thing in particular and accidentally had caused extra problems, but it was her historical enmity and laziness that had gotten her blown into pieces. This is not enough motivation. There needs to be a better reason than this. But it may be about my MC, so what is special about him?
Yay for brainstorming.
The problem is, I already know some things I want to drastically change, or shuffle, to put them in order, and i have some idea of what they will mean in the future, but I still have two big questions left to answer before i really know how it's going to go. (They are probably questions that I should have answered before starting the whole thing in the beginning, but oh well, that's not how I work.)
What is my main character's goal? He's a thirteen year old boy, who has not yet started liking girls, and prefers skateboarding and lacrosse. This combination of elements is itself mildly problematic, but I think it gives him a different way of seeing the world than other people. Both skateboarding punk chic and lacrosse yuppy prep are styles and attitudes that don't really agree with each other, but MC can almost pass in both communities. He's a little straight-laced for the rest of the skateboarders, and a little loner-punk for the lacrosse team, and he tries to make up for it by being better than everyone else at everything, but he isn't accepted for it, if anything they like him even less.
He has to be better, stronger, faster, smarter, because if he gives them an opportunity for ridicule, he will never gain the respect back. But he doesn't want to cheat, because then he isn't really better. Being better is what he takes pride in, and cheating would take away that pride. He's not really a team player and he doesn't like helping people. Perhaps when he goes into the new world (S, as I seem to have taken to calling it), he sees his own selfishness institutionalized, and doesn't really like it. But I still don't have a goal for him, except wanting to be better. I wonder if he is attracted to sorcery, not by the power, but by the opportunity to be great. Once he finds out that he has potential, he might want to pursue it.
If that's the case then I need to make sure my depiction of sorcery is clear, where it is a combination of internal development, and making exchanges with other creatures for their abilities. Or, for the nefarious, stealing from other creatures and manipulating them into giving you power.
What are the stakes? Mr. MC needs to rescue his aunt, by collecting the bits of her shattered soul and putting them back together, and he needs to rescue his mom, who has had something done to her memory, so when he meets her in S she doesn't know who he is. But his mother's problem has existed his entire life, and his aunt is only blown up into bits now. Yet there is some relation between the two problems. At first it was that his aunt had put the spell on his mother to make her forget one thing in particular and accidentally had caused extra problems, but it was her historical enmity and laziness that had gotten her blown into pieces. This is not enough motivation. There needs to be a better reason than this. But it may be about my MC, so what is special about him?
Yay for brainstorming.
no subject
Date: 2010-08-18 07:11 pm (UTC)But what I wanted to say is, why does MC have to be special? The 'everyman hero' is as trite and overused as the 'chosen one' tool. Couldn't he merely be himself caught up in his aunts own blunders? He doesn't necessarily have to be special.
And as for motivation and goal, isn't loving his mother enough? You said he doesn't like girls yet like that was the sole motivation to go on adventures/rescue someone. Friendship and family love can be just as much of a motivator. I don't get why they're so underutilized.
Dash.
no subject
Date: 2010-08-18 08:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-19 12:18 am (UTC)However, if he is not special, then he must do something that precipitates the action.
The problem is that i have a 13 year hiatus where there is an uncomfortable status quo, and his arrival at his aunt's house, disrupts the status quo, either by creating an opportunity for one side to gain something more, or the other side to attempt to regain something that has been lost, preferably both. It would be better if his action caused this, but an intrinsic quality of his bloodline or something, would also be... traditional. So, I think from both of these responses, an intrinsic quality is not preferred, and it should instead be an action that he takes which initiates the series of events of the story.
What on earth (or in khejara) could that action be?
no subject
Date: 2010-08-19 10:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-19 10:55 pm (UTC)To address the 13 year status quo dilemma what if it was the lack of MC presence that established it? Maybe MC wasn't raised near the mum or the aunt and it’s in his action of seeking them out that he tips the balance of power one way or the other causing the explosion. Maybe one needed to protect him or was distracted by him reappearing in their lives giving the other creating an opening that causes the explosion ect...
Another reason he could strive to be the best is classic abandonment issues.
Just a thought, I don't mean to run ahead with your story or ideas.
Dash.
no subject
Date: 2010-08-20 03:20 am (UTC)Oh, he definitely has abandonment issues. And his mum doesn't really show positive emotions, so he tries and he tries, but it's never really going to be enough to please her, or keep her from disappearing the next time.
I do like the idea that his own guilt is part of what motivates him, even if he has completely the wrong idea about what he's guilty of. And it's in subjective third person, so plenty of room for unreliability. So if you have more situations, please expound upon them.
But there is still the main problem. There is a rivalry and deep hatred between Z and G. MC's arrival and subsequent actions precipitate conflict between Z and G, resulting in G's being blown up into many pieces of soul. So what on earth were they fighting about?
no subject
Date: 2010-08-21 07:35 pm (UTC)An example of this expounded upon would be; Mum (I’m not sure if she is Z or G) spends time with the newly arrived MC distorting his image of the aunt until he is convinced she is the bad guy. Mc eager to prove himself worthy of his mother love vows to ‘free’ her. The next time mum would engage with the aunt and the usual stale mate would occur MC would interfere with a mysterious device/spell given to or told to him by the mother resulting in the aunts explosion and his subsequent guilt. I would assume the mother misled, out right lied or MC misunderstood about what the device/spell would do, since I doubt you would want you protagonist to willingly blow up the aunt which would negate his guilt.
Or equally; MC tracks down mum but aunt won’t let him see her. MC is persistent maybe sees mum lurking around the house and envisions ideas of capture having heard how “strange” the aunt is. This allows him to excuses her abandonment of him as it wasn’t abandonment if she had no choice. Thus a heroic (odd how often that can be replaced with stupid) rescue takes place where he somehow disables the aunt and frees the mother not realising what he has unleashed. Mother as revenge on aunt blows her up and MC’s quest for redemption starts.
Those scenarios don’t depend on him being special just on him being there. Actually they depend on him being flawed.
Looking over those I realise how much of it hinges on the mother being the bad guy. I guess I must have assumed if MC wanted to save his aunts soul she must be the good guy. Extremely linear thinking I now realise.
On the narration point i realise third person would give you room to confuse (I don’t think you could do the unreliable narrator) will the shards of the aunts soul also be used as a narration device? Would we be able to see how she came to be the person she is and the conflict that goes on between her and her sister? Like every time MC collects a bit of soul he gets to ‘read’ it for lack of a better term?
Sorry for the long ramble.
Dash